may the force be with you

this picture was in our  Time for Kids magazine a while ago.
the kids were scanning the pictures before we discussed and read some of the articles.
I asked if they knew who this statue was of, and one boy eagerly raises his and very enthusiastically says

"its Han Solo of course"

close kid. close.

you just HAVE to marry him!

in order to keep some dignity, i will keep this one simple:

assembly + attractive speaker my age + attractive speaker knowing a majority of the students + 150 fourth graders who know I am single = a VERY interesting afternoon.

you know your life is entertaining when the only people who will set you up are 10 years old. 

Never a dull moment on recess duty

as I was perusing the playground, a 4th grader from another class runs up with enough energy to bounce out of her shoes...

"Miss Ward, are you related to Tyler Ward?" 

       (gasp! I wish!) 

"Because that would be soooooo cool. I know who he is because I have college-aged kids at my house. Also, you should be married....you're like 28 aren't you? Hum, BYE!"

and then as quickly as she came in, she flew away....before I could even utter a peep. 

Just call me Webster

After a lesson on descriptive words and acrostic poetry...this is what I found on my desk...

Who knew?

it could work...

I taught music families again today to one of the other 4th grade classes. While talking about the brass family, we went through all the basic brass instruments. Tuba, trumpet, french horn, and trombone.

Then I showed them this picture:

and asked them if they had ANY idea what it was called. Of course no one knew...but on boy raised his hand and said:

it's kind of like a mix between a trumpet and a tuba...OH OH OH!!! its a TRUMPA!!

sorry buddy. try euphonium.

props for being quick witted though!

mmmm mmm good

During rotations this week I have been teaching some basic music fundamentals to all the 4th graders. The first day I had my class and we were discussing music instrument families. We learned about the families, and some of the particular instruments, and then listened to different examples.

While discussing woodwinds, I asked the students to listen to the differences in pitch that vary between instruments. I also asked them to close their eyes, and tried to imagine what they were hearing.

After we had listened to a snippet of Tchiakovsky's Symphony 4 which showcases the piccolo, I asked the question "What did this make you think of/what were you picturing in your mind?"

So I drew a name at random to get an answer. Well this little boy kind of slumps down in his chair hating the fact that he had been called on, but finally answers by saying:

"I'm sorry Miss Ward...but all I could think of was PICKLES!"

Ya. Should have seen that one coming! I mean personally when I hear the piccolo, I imagine elves or fairies dancing through a forest, but whatever. Pickles work too.

the red white and blue

today one kid walked in the door and immediately yelled out,

"geez! im so confused, why were there so many flags on the way to school!?"

as i started to speak, and explain why...

literally in unision about 5 kids started singing:

"its flag day, flag day, gotta get down on flag day..."

i definintely just stood there in shock before i busted up laughing. and of course the song has since been stuck in my head since.

curse you rebecca black.
but, bless you glee for making this song socially exceptable...at least in my world....

read read read

i had to give my kids a bit of a lecture the other day, because they were not staying on task during literature circle time. so we had a lovely chat and after wards i asked if anyone had had any questions about that days assignment, or about literature circles in general.

one boy raised his hand as sayed "i have more of a comment that a question"

i told him to go ahead and say it

he responded with a concern look on his face then said "i have a bit of a problem, but i get a stomach ache when i read too much..."

literally everyone just stared at him for like 10 seconds and then busted up laughing.

i made him read 10 extra pages that day too.... haha

biebs

while out at recess the other day, I had to borrow one of the other teachers whistles because there wasn't going to be a bell and the kids needed to know when to come in. as i go to blow the whistle, there were a few girls right around me and i told them to plug their ears while i blew the whistle.

well, the whistle didnt work. i laughed really hard, and then said something to the effect of "ahhh dumb whistle doesnt work!"

well, this was a very bright purple whistle, and the response i got after apparently 'cursing' the whistle would only come from a 4th grade girl.

she proceeded to grab her face with a loud gasp, and said 

"respect the justin bieber whistle!!!! his favorite color is purple geez!!!"

oh goodness. i mean i will admit that i did know this...and i understand the bieber fever deal. but goodness. im so sorry!

imagine that!

middle of the spelling test, dead silent, and a kid yells out,

"um...miss ward? why do you have a ring on your toe?"

well...um because its a toe ring!

"what? i didnt know they made those! weird!"

clearly, best job in the world...

55 kids and a chicken

a couple weeks ago thats who was in my classroom. 55 kids and a chicken. one of my students brought in her new chicken to show the class, and we just happened to have 2nd grade buddies down at that time, so needless to say, it was an adventure...

well, after she walked around showing the chicken, i see a look of half terror, half amusement on one of my students faces (its hard to explain...) so i walk up to him and ask him if hes okay, and after pondering his statement he says:

"um yes, im ok. im just feeling a little guilty because i had chicken nuggets for dinner last night.."

awkward much?

i was taking a drink of water from my water bottle after recess, and a girl from a different 4th grade class, in a very sassy voice says:

"ya! you drink that water girlfriend!"

i honestly didnt know how to respond...

utah state history

growing up in idaho, has made teaching utah history...interesting. i basically learn it as i teach it, which is always a definite adventure. while talking about utah symbols, i asked if anyone knew what the utah state dance was. several looked at me with blank stares, and one kids, with a look of desperation on his face shouts out,

"oh please please tell me its the hokey pokey..."

sorry dude. its actually the square dance.

whats a motto?

i asked my kids this exact question and we discussed what a motto was and where people come up with them. i quickly asked some students what their mottos would be, and without a pause i get:

"grip it and rip it."

and

"don't die"

oh the wit and spunk...

crutches

one day, one of my kids comes hobbling in on crutches. i asked what was happened and she told the class that she may have torn her meniscus, and was going to the doctor that afternoon. the day went on, the kids helped her throughout the day, but nobody really said much.

several hours later, nothing had been mentioned and everyone went to recess. as i was out on recess duty, several girls come running up to me. one girl says

"miss ward, whats a meniscus?"

before i have time to answer, another girl shouts out

"oh i think i know! i bet its the spanish word for KNEE!"

oh the minds of children...

TMI

one day after a sunny lunch recess, my kids came in got drinks and we quickly got started reviewing for our science test.

as im sitting there asking questions, i call on one kid, and as he starts to answer, he clearly burps under his breath. instead of ignoring it, or excusing himself, he shouts out in horror:

"ahhh man! that hot dog literally just stays with ya! i'm sorry, but GEEZ!"

10 year olds are disgustingly hilarious

quack quack

4th grader from a different class runs up to me while i was on recess duty and just starts blabbing non stop!

then she starts telling me about this family of ducks that kept appearing in her neighborhood, but the mom kept leaving the baby ducklings.

well, apparently one baby duckling got hit by a car. and this girls comment was...

"i cant believe the mom left her babies. stupid duck, pretty sure she was a first time mom though..."

touché

i was in a weird mood the other morning and as i was taking morning attendance, i called for any lunch money that needed to be sent to the office. no one responded or said anything, so i said 'how about miss ward appreciation money?

at that they all looked at me oddly and chuckled.

so i said "come on, i surely am worth a million dollars. anybody?"

one kid says, "oh i will bring you a penny tomorrow!"

i say "oh come on, thats all im worth? A PENNY!"

then G, with a grin on his face shouts out: 

"no miss ward, you are definitely worth TWO pennies"

whatever! crazy kids! they dont know what they are talking about!

whack

I was up at the front of the room the other day, preparing for that days math lesson. We were going to review symmetry, and I was cutting out big shapes so they could tell me how many lines of symmetry each shape had. As I was cutting out a crescent moon, I hear a "psst" from the kid in front of me.  I look at him, and smiling he says,

"miss ward, i sure hope you aren't going to moon us!"

you better believe that i wacked him over the head with my stack of papers...

little punk.

don't judge

As we were getting ready to watch an episode of Bill Nye the other day, I started explaining to the kids that I wasn't going to make them take notes, but they need to quietly listen and pay attention. As I finished lecturing them on not talking, one kid raises his hand and I call on him. He begins to say

"seriously guys, it really bugs me when people can't watch movies...without talking during the whole thing"

well the funny part was, that he paused right after saying "when people can't watch movies..."

and one of the quietest kids in the class, literally out of nowwhere shouts

"GEEZ! Don't judge the blind people!"

needless to say, we all looked at him flaberghasted, and died of laughter.

i dont understand their little brains! hahahaha

i seriously have the best job ever :)

tick tock tick tock

i started a new rule where i only ask the kids once to sit down and be quite. from there i just watch the clock, and for as long as it takes them to quiet down, thats how much recess time they owe me. so yesterday, after about a minute and a half, there i stand at the front of the room...waiting.... when all of a sudden a boy with a look of sheer agony on his face, slams his fists down on his desk and yells:

"what does it take!!!!!!!!!! to gets some peace and quiet around these parts of town?!"

well i will have you know that it worked. he sure did get our attention. and there was a moment of utter silence. it only lasted about 3 seconds before everyone busted up laughing...including myself....
but seriously, where do these kids come from? haha

run forest run

kid running in from recess yesterday:

'miss ward!!! you never know what you got until your legs fall off!'

clearly his legs were still attached...he was just tired.

mr robot-o

during math today, we were grading our times tests as a class. i had the answer key up on the screen, and as i recited the times table, the kids recited the answer.

we were about half way done with correcting it, when we get to 8 x 6

the class in unison belts out 48

...

except for one kid.

he yells out 14.

 ...

so we all paused, and i clarified that 8 x 6 is in fact 48, and we get ready to move on,

but he stops me and says "sorry miss ward. my tongue is tired and we sound like robots."

oh the excuses you get in the 4th grade...

seriously crack me up.

pure talent

during a very quiet silent reading block in class today, H raises his hand and says:

"miss ward, if you look to your right G over there is doing the disco."

look to my right and sure enough G was stand by his desk, doing a little dance.

he responded only by saying:

"that's right, i got skills"

talk about awkward turtle

this week i was in charge of the PE rotation for all 4th grade classes.

so M-Th i teach PE to someones class while another teacher takes my class for art, or computers etc.

well, on this particular day, I took one of the classes that I have not had any previous interaction with.

i didnt know these kids, never seen them before, nothing.

well, as i round the corner, one of the students says quite loudly,

"MISS WARD! LOOKIN' GOOD"

um...dude thats weird, you are 9, but thanks! appreciate it!?!

vote for me

each monday my kids get to choose a new classroom job. i added a few last week, so that there were more selections and so that other things got done around our classroom.

this past week i added 'classroom messenger' to the job chart. they are in charge of sending things to the office or going on giving things to other teachers when i need them. after i finished explaining, i let each of the pick which job they want that week.

i called on one little friend, and in a very sophisticated voice says 

"i want to be the new messenger. why? because i like the name, and i think i will be good at it!"

oh brother....

we've got spirit how 'bout you

during a mini review on the water cycle, i asked the class 'what are all the different things we need to form a cloud?'

i get several correct answers like water vapor, air, pressure etc etc

then i called on one little with a waving hand in the air, who takes in a deep breath, sticks her fist in the air, and with an over dramatic facial express, and head jerk yells out 'spirit'!

i paused and said 'as in "go team go?"'

and she says 'yes! i believe we can make this cloud!'

wow. cheerleader much?

my point your point

i have a classroom point system, where every day they earn more points than i do, they earn a letter that eventually spells out our class reward. my kids voted on trying to earn a pizza party, so they have to earn all 10 letters in pizza party. 

it works really well because i dont have to ever remind them to be quiet, i just go up to the board and give myself points and eventually they catch on.

well the other day i was talking to another teacher, and not really paying attention, they were super chatty, and as i turned around and started walking to the board, one little boy literally stands up and screams

"BE QUIET! MISS WARD WON'T ALLOW IT!"

thank you sir. not the way to handle the situation, but hilarious non the less...

cool word finder

during guided reading groups the other day, we were having a discussion about using context clues to understand words we dont know.

each student was asked to find one 'cool word' in their assigned reading.

we discussed each word and were able to figure out their meaning based on reading the whole sentence.

but then, one girls raises her hand and said 'miss ward, i still dont understand what this word means, even when i read it in the sentence!'

so i asked her what the word was

she says 'stand-a-fish'

i looked at her confused and asked her to find the page the word was on and read the full sentence to me.

she read it, and i about busted up laughing.

the real word was 'STANDOFFISH'

oh 4th grade how i love you...

neil vs. louis

this week we have been reading a story called "Sing to the Stars"
its all about music and its been SO much fun.
we have been learning about classical music and jazz music,
rythyms and improvisation,
and the kids love it!
well today, there was a part in the story that said "you were playing as bold as Louis Armstrong on the horn!"
so...i asked the kids who Louis Armstrong was...prepare yourself, these were the answers i got:

• 'i think louis armstrong was the first man on the moon'
• 'he was the kids friend in our story'
• 'he was a ping pong player'
• 'he collected baseball cards'
• 'he was an astronaut'
• finally one kids raises his hand 'miss ward i think maybe he was a musician because this story is about music'

bingo! oh everyday is SO entertaining...

apple for the teacher

sometimes...okay, a lot of times...people ask me if any of my kids have brought me apples.

i giggle at this question,

because none of my students have brought me an apple yet

BUT

one of my girls while student teaching brought me...

squash.

serious.

she brought me this giant squash and sat in on my desk so proudly.

much like that moment in 'a christmas story' while ralphie showers the teacher with his giant fruit basket

it was by far a very great moment.

and it was a pretty tasty squash.

spelling pretest

while giving the spelling pretest this morning, these little 4th graders were on one.
(mind you it was valentines day)

they kept chatting after each word, and finally i had to stop and discuss the rules while we test.

about half way through, the word was never. i used the word in a sentence, and then all of a sudden i hear a little boy start singing 'never say never' i started chuckling and said 'did you really just bust out in a justin beiber song? he laughs, the whole class laughs, and i move on to the next word.

about 2 words later the word was fever. before i could even say a sentence, this same boy says 'H. has Beiber fever' in regards to the kid next to him. this kid then responds 'speak for yourself!' the whole class laughs and i find it hard to control my own laughing.

then the final word was, moment i said 'for one moment, we will all be completely silent.' this lasted for about a split second, and then another kids says 'sorry miss ward, that moment has passed.'

oh these kiddos...you just cant stay mad at them!

favorites

found this sitting on my desk at the end of day 1:

favorite teacher on the first day? success!

wouldnt you think my collections complete?

whilst introducing myself to the kiddos this morning

i said "i have an unusual collection...cause you guess what it is?"

the students were silent,

then all of a sudden one kid yells out "russian nesting dolls?"

what? seriously?

how do they come up with these things?

Mexico

(happened during student teaching, Fall 2010, 3rd grade)

Miss Ward, are you from Mexico?

No, I am from Idaho.

Oh, then why is your hairs black?

welcome to my newest little project.

being a teacher is clearly the most entertaining profession in the world.
if you dont agree, obviously you have no idea what you are talking about...cause
the things that some kids come up with is seriously priceless.
truthfully i am shocked i havent done this sooner,
because these are some of the things i never want to forget.
so as i embark upon my newest journey as a 4th grade teacher,
this is where i will share all the witty, embarrassing and random things kids say.
who knows how often i will have the time to post,
because i should probably keep the actual teaching of the children my first priority,
but when it happens, this is the place to find it.
onward!