highly qualified

Towards the end of the year, we have an economics unit where the kids get to apply for jobs, and earn "money" that they use for businesses we open up at the end of the unit. I describe the different jobs, they turn in a resume and application and I get to assign the jobs.
Well during one particular interview, I asked a student why he wanted to be a banker, his response:

"Well Miss Ward, I am NOT about to get stuck with the broom..."

fair enough kid. fair enough.

now i know how to scare them off...

One of my student's mom was in charge of a Zumbathon to raise money for breast cancer research.

I was invited, and was actually really excited about it. 

So that Saturday, I grabbed a friend, and we showed up in our workout clothes ready to Zumba away.

A few more of my students were there, and were so excited when I walked in the door.

About an hour in the Zumba madness, one of them walks up to me and says:

"Miss Ward! I am so so so really really really excited you are here! But.... I am feeling a little uncomfortable since you aren't wearing, like a suit thing"

Me: "A suit thing? Have I ever worn a suit thing?"

student: "No, but, you know... like pants and stuff?"

Me: "pretty sure I am wearing pants now..."

student: "ugh, you just don't get it!"

Me: "No, I get it. You aren't used to me being all sweaty and gross..."

student: "Well, I wasn't going to say anything....but ya."

then runs off faster than the speed of light.

I will also have you know, she complemented my outfit 4 different times the following monday. oh geez....

duck and cover

During a discussion on Emergency Preparedness, and evacuation drill procedures, we were practicing an earthquake drill.

You know, the crawl-under-your-desk-in-the-fetal-position drill?

For some reason, 4th graders find this extremely hilarious. Especially because after I make sure all the students are accounted for, I have to then crawl under my desk while the principal comes and checks on each class.

Much laughter was happening while I was checking the room making sure everyone was in place,   when a student says:

"Miss Ward is so awesome, she doesn't need to crawl under a desk to survive"

another student yells back:

"whatever guys, if there was a fire or earthquake, Miss Ward would definitely die with us"

finally, after a long delay, a final student yells back:

"Guys, have a little maturity!"

make room for the dog!

during an enthralling game of Science Review Jeopardy, I asked the question

"what can we do to prepare for extreme weather?"

these were my favorite answers:

1. 'get in the dog kennel'
2. 'cry'
3. 'ask mom what to do'
4. 'charge my iTouch'
5. 'rake up all the leaves first'

clearly jumping in the kennel with the dog after I rake all the leaves is the best preparation. obviously.

an acronym for everything

on an ordinary day, during a thrilling discussion on fractions, a hand shoots in the air....I called on this particular student, thinking a question regarding improper fractions, or simplifying fractions was about to be uttered. 

I was pleasantly surprised.... 

student: "Miss Ward.... I just wanted you to know.... you are STOML."

me: "ummm okay? and what exactly does that mean?"

student: "So Totally Outta My League"

me: "eerrrrrrr thanks. now do your math."

homework heartbreak

A little boy walked up to me and with a look of sheer pain says:

"Miss Ward, I....I just have something bad to say...."

*covers his head in shame*

"I forgot my homework in my kitchen"

*grabs at his heart*

"Oh, I just feel so guilty inside!"

drama much? at least he learned his lesson?